So let's look at the situation. Dennis Dixon and Tim Tebow are locked in a pretty dead heat in the race for the Heisman. There are over 900 voters in this race, but as proved last night, the only one that matters is the one who begot Tim Tebow, recognizing him as his Son and Savior of the human race. And by human race, I mean Florida fans, because the rest of you people aren't worth saving.
And God weighed in last night, taking down Dixon with just his mind- that's telekinesis, Kyle. Now, here's the thing: Dixon's a great player and a legitimate candidate, and I hope he gets better so that his career doesn't end like this. But you ask any football coach who they'd take out of the two, and the only ones saying that they'd take Dixon are going to be Charlie Weis, Bill Callahan, and Dennis Franchione. Let's get this straight: Tim Tebow is the best college football player in the country. And in this wacky season of football, there's no default 'senior on a national championship contender' to go to, now that Dixon looks to be out until after the trophy presentation. Therefore, after Jesus finishes up waxing FAU and FSU, he'll be sitting up at the Downtown Athletic Club, the first sophomore to ever receive the award.
And Ohio State fans are going to be livid. Why, you ask?
Why ask why?
Because they're going to see visions of Florida pwning them yet again, as the spectre of having a 3-time Heisman winner rears its ugly head. Just think: we take a football national championship away, then a basketball national championship, and then Tim Tebow relegates Archie Griffin to being a footnote in the annals of Western History. Let's be clear: it doesn't matter if it happens or not, there mere possibility will eat them up. Just when they were relieved to be beat by someone other than UF (even if it was a team led by the Zooker), UF sneaks in, twists Dennis Dixon's knee, and threatens to tear down all that is holy in OSU football.
Hell, that should be reason enough for voters to back Tebow- who doesn't love the taste of sweet, sweet OSU tears? That reminds me, I hope they liked the chili I sent them...